Vasectomy = Remote Control... Control

Caleb and Emily walked into the urologist’s office, the door closing behind them with a soft thud that seemed to echo Caleb’s nerves. He looked around the waiting room, spotting the obligatory stack of outdated magazines and a very uncomfortably cushioned chair.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit in the chair?” Caleb asked, eyeing the uncomfortable seat as though it might cushion the blow of what was coming. Emily grinned, nudging him with her elbow. “Nope, I’m perfectly comfortable right here. Besides, you’ll need the good karma for what’s about to happen.”  Caleb sank into the chair, fidgeting as Emily leaned in, whispering, “You know, it’s just a tiny snip. You’ve seen me give birth—twice. I think you can handle this.”  He shot her a look that was half-amused, half-terrified. “You didn’t have to be awake for the scalpel part.”

“Touché,” she said, crossing her legs and flipping through a magazine. “But just think, after today, no more worrying about ‘Oops!’ moments.”  Caleb’s eyes widened. “Emily, please. We’re in public!”

The receptionist called Caleb’s name, and Emily gave him a playful push. “Showtime! Don’t worry, babe—I’ll be right here waiting. With snacks,” she added, pulling out a bag of trail mix with a wink.

In the exam room, Caleb found himself face-to-face with Dr. McMillan, a man who looked far too cheerful for someone about to do what he was about to do.  “So, Caleb, how are we feeling today?” Dr. McMillan asked, all business.  “Uh, well, you know, just a little anxious,” Caleb admitted, glancing nervously at the tray of instruments that seemed to gleam with a menacing twinkle.

The doctor smiled reassuringly. “It’s perfectly normal to be nervous. But I promise, this will be quick and straightforward.” 
“Quick and straightforward,” Caleb repeated under his breath as if it were a mantra.

As Dr. McMillan explained the procedure, Caleb zoned out, his mind drifting to Emily in the waiting room. She was probably scrolling through social media, maybe already drafting a cheeky post about her “brave warrior” undergoing the ultimate snip. He could practically hear her quips now.

The procedure began, and Caleb squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his breathing. “Just think of it like getting a shot,” Dr. McMillan said as he worked. Caleb chuckled awkwardly.  “Right, a shot… to the… yeah, okay,” he muttered.

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Emily was indeed crafting a social media post, something along the lines of, “Caleb’s taking one for the team today! Who knew a snip could lead to so much couch time and control of the remote?”

Back in the exam room, the doctor was wrapping up. “And… we’re done! You did great, Caleb,” Dr. McMillan said, patting him on the shoulder.  Caleb blinked in surprise. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” the doctor confirmed with a nod. “Just take it easy for the next few days, and you’ll be back to normal in no time.” 

Caleb, still dazed, shuffled back out to the waiting room where Emily was waiting, grinning like the cat that got the cream. “How’d it go?” she asked, already knowing the answer.  “Quick and straightforward,” Caleb said, trying to sound nonchalant as he gingerly lowered himself into a chair.

Emily leaned in, her voice low and playful. “So, does this mean I’m in charge of the remote until you’re fully recovered?”  Caleb groaned, but the twinkle in his eye said it all. “Maybe… but only if you promise to bring me snacks while I recover.”

“Deal,” she laughed, taking his hand as they walked out. “And don’t worry, I’ll even let you pick the movies tonight. You’ve earned it.”

As they made their way to the car, Caleb couldn’t help but smile, despite the slight discomfort. He had survived the snip, and while Emily might have the remote for a few days, he knew he’d have a lifetime of peace of mind—and plenty of future opportunities to use this day as a bargaining chip.